Single or celibate or chaste

Am following the debate in Christianity Today about what to use as a term for unmarried people in the evangelical church scene. Recently widowed, I find myself in this strange state. After thirty three years of marriage, I am somehow now not married. Some forms don't even give you a choice of widowed..but I don't think of myself as "Single"--which seems to me to focus to much on the lack of something.--as though I am missing something. Celibate has been suggested as an alternate term, to emphasize the calling of unmarried people to serve God and to serve His beloved church. I like the reasoning, but the term calls up the notion of monastic orders and promises to remain celibate for a life time. Most of us, ungifted with celibacy, may not wish it to be a life-time life-style choice. We may be waiting for some divinely ordained and provided mate some time in the future. In the present we are called to live a chaste life. But chastity should not be confused with celibacy as they come from different roots. "Chastity" is the state of being innocent or chaste, Chastity refers to sexual behavior of a man or woman acceptable to the ethical norms and guidelines of a certain culture, civilization or religion In the western world, the term has become closely associated (and is often used interchangeably) with sexual abstinence, especially before marriage. On the other hand, "Celibacy" is the renunciation of marriage implicitly or explicitly made, for the more perfect observance of chastity, by those who take religious vows. They may look the same in practice, but they have different motivations and values. Either choice is scriptural and should be honored for radical obedience to the Lord in the context of a culture that does everything it can to ridicule or assault the chaste.
Actually, I don't want to be defined by my marital status--any more than I think my race or age or gender should define me. I don't reject it, or these other truths about me, but I don't think any one of these categories is definitive for me And I hate being programed into "singles ministries" or thought of as having special needs because of that aspect of my life.
I prefer to be a person in the pew--who worships, studies the word, and engages in ministry and service with all the other parts of the "body". I'd love to see us cross all kinds of barriers that might be interesting statistically but are irrelevant for who we are and how we live our our evangelical calling.