one month to live--a no-regrets life

It has been one of those years lived in the both the rear view mirror and in the crystal ball. Grief does that. Is one moment I am asking, "This time last year, what were we doing or thinking? Did we have any inkling that we would lose my husband?" Or, trying to look into the impenetrable future,
"Should I live here, live this way, go to NGO work, concentrate on art, write more?" These points of discontinuity in my life have caused me to focus on the things I really know to be true. So, it's not surprising that I picked up a book titled, "One month to live: thirty days to a no-regrets life" by Kerry and Chris Shook. Its been like a life-check up. I suppose this is sort of my "Statement of Beliefs":

I am learning that relationships are a priority and so I am having to sort through and throw out some old attitudes. I'm also tearing up my old schedules to allow for time to sit on my front porch swing and to be available for relationships. I believe in the power of prayer, so I am trying to build bigger blocks of time for that, and to record what I am praying and I am taking retreats to strengthen my faith. I believe in the power of God's word, so I am lengthening the time I spend in it, studying it, copying it into calligraphy, so i can slow down enough to let it enter my heart and take root in my mind. I believe in the centrality of worship--so i sing hymns in the morning and through the day to turn my heart toward Jesus and to look in His wonderful face. I believe in the existence of that invisible kingdom, and so am trying to be a good steward of the material gifts I have been given in this one. I believe God has formed Himself in every person who lives, and so I am searching in every face for that part of the Imageo Dei that it bears. I believe that the entire universe was made by Him and through Him and For Him, so that I must seek out His glory and wonder and intelligence in every thing that exists, and that I have a special relationship to this material world, to shape and beautify it and to preserve it. I believe that the peacemakers are happy, so i am trying to work toward all kinds of reconciliation. I believe that every person is given a choice--what will they do with Jesus and His sacrifice--so i want to give them a chance to hear that good news that they are forgiven---what they do with that is up to them. I believe that everything i have or am is a gift from God and I've given it all back to Him for whatever His purposes in and with my life. My car, house, stuff, talents, time--energy--they are all His, to command. I believe I am to obey Him even if it's not convenient or easy, or safe. I believe Jesus resurrected to give us the power to live transformed lives--radically different lives--and I want to be willing to be thought "different, strange". It takes so much reshaping of my thought to conform to a new worldview that I literally have to stop and take every thought captive. I believe that God ordained marriage to be a picture of unity and love within the Trinity itself, and then to be a picture of Christ's sacrificial love for His bride--the church. So I am committed to remaining chaste and being dedicated to serving the church. I haven't taken orders--I'm just a regular person in the pew, who wants to serve and live for Jesus. I don't think I have the gift of celibacy, but I can still live a pure and holy life, rich in relationships within and outside the church. I believe God has set the "solitary"- lonely, in families, and so He has given me mine. These are wonderful, "peculiar (particular) people" given to me to cherish and to nurture. I want to give myself to living out abundant, meaningful life in whatever spheres of influence i may be given--art--poetry--aid or rescue work. I will need all the power of God to live this and to accomplish these things...and "I hope by God's good pleasure---safely to arrive at home."